emotional disorder

Well there are a couple answers to those questions.

First the wrong answer, Stuff it all down so deep it will never see the light of day again. One problem that is impossible no matter how much we try and avoid memories or triggers to those memories we will fail. Our memories are unique to each one of us, a blueprint to how we got where we are today, to deny them is to deny who we are and how we got here.

The right answer is harder to do at first, You need to turn the bad memories around and make them work for you. Having traumatic experiences like being bullied, beaten, or abused are so painful that 20 years later some small harmless thing can bring them back in a rush and we are back there standing in the middle of it all as if it were new, and if we have tried to keep it all bottled up we will eventually fall apart. Look back with honest eyes and learn what they have to teach, those lessons are yours, you lived them, honor yourself for getting through them and share the lessons. Show others how to fight back teach them to stop bullies turn in abusers and recognize depression. Give them the tools to survive and as the bad memories lead to good results they have lost all their power over you. Life is never fair, so change the rules.

Hey Charm,

Don't have'ny answers for ya.
But I thought I'd let you know how startled I was at how much this post mirrors my situation.

Had to check the recycling for beer cans to see if I hadn't tied one on last night and actually written your post myself.

I dunno, for me, I try and find little glimmers of hope and hold onto them as tightly as I can.

Anyway, you're not alone-

Good luck.

My doctors know I had anxiety as a child and now, after reviewing my complex medical history, they are sure I had bipolar as well . I was not diagnosed however, until I was 30. I really struggled and life isn't a bowl always a bowl of cherries now, but you have to take it not one day a a time or ever one hour at a time, but moment to moment. You will make it if you focus on the little things that can make you happy in each moment. I had family problems, work trouble, relationship trouble, here is what I do. I live in Hawaii, so I look I the beauty while I can. The air smells like flowers, the smells of the ocean, the sand in my toes, the touch of my dogs fur and his puppy eyes with unconditional love. the laughter of children. Sea turtles when I dive. The colors in the setting sunset- yellow to gold, to orange, to magenta, to purple, to black and then the stars come out. People can always let you down, this can happen even if you are emotionally and mentally perfect. What do you love? What do you love to do for you? do you hike, read paint swim? Get out and love yourself and you'll find the world will start to feel like a more loving place to you. Find your happiness in each moment. It's hard, I struggle with it everyday. But like Yoda says, do, or do not, there is no try, Sam