My week after quitting caffeine

ON meds for anxiety depression, 20mg paxil. Fell back into the caffeine drinking cycle, had panic attack week ago saturday. Quit caffeine immediately following. Sunday felt really strange, depressed, like a was living in a dream, scared, like nothing was real or I wasn't in control and a major headache, Monday every symptom still but they lessened about 10% and each as follows for the next several days. Here I am saturday seven days since I quit caffeine. I'm still on edge feeling nervous, and questioning reality but very seldomly. As long as I keep my mind busy I seem to do a little better. Have thoughts on what if I was to not exist but would not commit suicide I love my wife, family, cat and life. I hope this week my mind takes a turn for the better these thoughts get the best of me sometimes. I feel like I am either depressed or feel like I can do anything ( this is when I start to drink coffee again and make a lot of impulsive decisions). Thanks for reading it seems to vent might help.