In Need Of Advice & Help!

Hi Jeni, I don't think your current situation is trivial at all!! I remember talking with you about this some months back!!! I am probably asking a dumb question but have you talked to your bf about this? I mean have you asked him simply and seriously if he thought he could handle a long distance relationship for a while? I seem to remember that vet school is more than just a passing fancy for you and I really think if you were a vet in my area, I would absolutely want to take my pets to you. You are a good person with such a giving sincere heart.

I can tell you really love your bf and when you speak of marriage and children, I can feel your heart is sincere. I think your bf would be willing to support you in whatever decision you make. I know I'm probably not helping you at all as I'm sure you've already thought all these things through!!!!

I am glad you see you around again lately!! Please know I am here if you need anyone to listen!!! Best of luck to you!!! :0)

Big hugs, Suzee

I have spoken to my bf about vet school & he is supportive of me going if i choose & if i don;t choose then he supports me too. So he;s no help lol. I would be annoyed if he told me i couldnt go-but he hasn;t really given much helpful advice other then he'll miss me, try to find employment out there, etc. He is an idealist so thinks everything will work out-but i know how hard long distance can be. We did long distance while i was in grade school a yr-and we were really struggling to keep our relationship together-and we saw each other every other weekend. Here he wouldn;t see me for mths on end. My bf has mentioned that he wished things would just work out, no more school-and we could just settle down-but then he tells me he doesn;t want to hinder me from my dreams either. SO it is all confusing. Sorry to complain-its a good thing he isn;t insisting that i stay -but i know it will hurt him if i go-and he is one of those people who likes seeing his gf everyday & i think he got baby envy/craving to be a parent--so i am really scared that long distance won;t work out. I know its a realistic probability-even thought he's an idealist and thinks love can conquer all i don;t believe that. HE could try to move out to where i'd be going to school-but i worry that would hurt his career & its hard to find employment in that area. He does have his own profession-so i wouldn;t want to ruin his career so i could get what i wanted either.
I also worry that i'll be too old to have kids when i finish school. Im 28-vet school is 4 yrs-i'll be in my 30's once i finish. Even if im lucky enough to stay w. scott-it maybe hard to conceive in my mid-30's, I also worry that if i go to vet school-lose my bf-i won;t meet anyone else & won;t be able to ever have a family-be a mom which i think i want one day. I just wish i was younger because it would make this decision so much easier. SO sorry to complain. Thank you for being understanding of my trivial problems. My bf doesn;t get that as a woman you only have a certain amout of time to have kids & sadly im only getting older. I don;t think i could have a baby & be in vet school bc it would be too much stress all around. I wouldn;t mind adopting if i waited until older-but i know my bf wanted to first try to have children on our own & then if we couldn;t we'd adopt. I am just really worried because i know he's biological clock is ticking if that makes sense. I get moments where i really think i want to be a mom asp-but other moments when i want a better career/want to be a vet. My dream always was to be a vet-and i worked hard to actually get in-so im kicking myself if in the end i don;t go/and all those yrs were wasted.

I ment grad school-haven;t been dating him since grade school lol

Also i know me choosing to go to vet school/go away would hurt my bf-but he wont come out & tell me not to go. i worry that he'll think im making my career a priority over him-which i kinda would be-and i don;t know how much that would hurt him. HE was once offered a job out of state & i was in grad school-i told him to go if he really wanted job-but he declined bc of having to be seperate from me-so i feel like he places me before his career-where im not sure if i am ok placing him before my career. i don;t want to be selfish yet i also want to be happy-and have a career im passionate about .it is all so confusing to me.

then i get this nagging in the back of my head that i wont suceed, do well in vet school etc-i know that's from low self esteem & lack of confidence in myself.

OH Jeni, you are certainly in a very tough spot. How far away is this school from where you live now? I'm just reachign out in the dark here, trying to think of anything I can think of that might help!!!

I do see and hear your dilemna and see why it's so tough. I guess I have to say that if you've found true love and he's not abusive or unfaithful etc... you may have found a relationship that many don't ever experience. What a tough decision and I'm sure I'm not helping at all!!!! LOL I'm so sorry!!!!

Sending hugs, Suzee

I say go to vet school-follow your dreams-if your relationship is meant to be it will work out. I do understand your dilemna though-it is hard to leave someone you love but he likely would feel awful if you didn;t pursue your dream on account of him.

After much drama=seriously my computer screem froze, internet kicked me off etc-i purchused tickets to St. Kitts! I bought refundable airline ticket just in case i have a panic attack & dont go, I hate that im so indecisive-but thanks to my dad being a frequent flier from AA i have tickets/things set up to go---and if for some reason im a big baby & chicken out I;ll only lose $150 or so-so not too much compared the the ticket price. Well back to work to make money to pay 4 school lol-hope everyone has a good day! Thanks for all your advice.
DO u really think most men are abusive/toxic relationship? That scares me since my sister's husband was mr. wonderful when they were dating-all our family liked him & i was even jealous of my sister bc they traveled did cool stuff-yet now/after being married, having kids, my sister getting ill=her husband's a jerk/abusive so i know marriage changes things often for the worse. My bf is an idealistic and thinks marriage strengthens love-going to be wonderful so he;s not always realistic.. I've never been in an abusive relationship & my bf doesn't seem like he ever would be like that-but who knows. Marriage scares me too bc anyone could turn out to be a jerk.

Suzee school is like 6 hrs away by airplane-so its far--and actual long distance.

One of the many positves of my bf is he's an animal lover-kinda would have to be to date me this many yrs lol. But after much talk-he actually built a kitty jungle gym in our basement.we have 3 cats-one w. a weight issue lol & one who is a nutt job/full of energy. We have a kitty condo but wanted more play options. This jungle gym 4 cats was made by my bf-so not expensive-but it has safe wooden/smoothed out planks for them to climb all the way up to the ceiling & then be able to circle around the room from the ceiling. I doubted my bf would be able to make it fit into the basement-our basement is half furnished/half washer/dryer area-anyway- he blended it so it looks like a kitty ladder up to the ceiling--along the ceiling it runs into the bookshelves/so kitties have access to the kitty bed on the shelf-and it has a few pts they can climb down-including by the couch & one by the litter box-so im very happy he made that for them. Im a dork-but things like that make my day! I inherited my grandma's elderly but obese cat (my gma didn't realize it hurt them to overfeed/feed human food)-so we wanted to come up w/ creative ways for our cats to exercise. I wish i could post pictures of it-in my opinion its pretty awesome (some women like diamonds I am awed by a mega kitty condo/gym lol). Anyway-that's the sweet kind of person my bf is so it will be hard to leave him-even though i do think i really have a passion to bc a veterinarian.